The Sins
by AlternateUniversal
Summary: In a different world Satan has created seven powerful agents to do his bidding. Unfortunately those agents haven't extremely useful in recent years and he is no longer content to just have them running around destroying things in his name. What happens when Satan fires his seven most powerful agents. Well to put it simply hell gets raised. inspired by hazbin hotel.
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to my newest story. I recently watched the pilot for Hazbin Hotel and I've gotta say I really liked it. I figured I'd get started on a little story with relation to it. I am willing to do a crossover between the characters in this story and those in Vivziepop's cartoon but I figured I'd give my characters their own little story to give people a little more knowledge on them before I just toss them into a fic with already established characters. This first chapter is basically going to be an info dump on the way my little world works and how the characters look. If you're not interested in exposition feel free to skip this one, I'll try and voice these things in the actual story but I realize I can be forgetful so I'm putting it down here. **

**Hell**

Hell in the Sins has been around for as long as Christianity has, when a person who has committed sins dies they go into a form of hell called the first level, it's just a judging portion where they can appeal to be judged and go to heaven, or they can go straight to the next level. If they attempt to be judged and the judges do not allow them passage to heaven they'll be in the other levels for longer. The judgement was put into place because sometimes people do the wrong things for the right reasons, such as killing in self defense. Though appeals rarely ever end in a sinner going to heaven. The second level of hell is a sort of purgatory, sinners are left alone with their thoughts for a year without the abilty to move, or feel. They are left with nothing their own thoughts and the guilt of their past sins to crawl down their backs. The third level consists of the sinner being seen by a jury of all the people they've wronged who ended up in heaven to decide the scope of their punishment. The fourth level is where the actual punishment happens.

fifth level is where they go from human soul to demon, they lose their human qualities and become something different, simply for the fact an unaltered human soul would not be able to exist in hell. The sixth level is simple, a hall where the sinner must face their worst fear. Once they leave the hall they are in the eigth level is where soulless and Monsters reside. Afterlife is not eternal in this hell and after three hundred years a demon will turn into a soulless. A mindless monster that only wants to devour everything it can get its claws on. Monsters are primordial beings who sleep in the deepest part of the deepest level.

The seventh level of hell is huge, it expands to accomodate new demons coming into it and changes with the times with different parts of it having modern aesthetics or older ones. IE some parts could look like an exact copy of New York city while other parts look like a western town or some place of asian origin. It is varied to accomodate what different souls think is possible. A few other details about this hell is that it rains blood, randomly combusting is not uncommon and that in certain places the ground is littered with rusty nails and legos.

**Void**

The void is a place beyond death, when a demon is killed they will go into the void. No demon will stay in the void forever but it will take them a long time to recover from it, for most mortal demons it will take five hundred years to come back from the void. Whereas for Immortal Demons it would only take a matter of weeks.

**Immortal Demons**

Immortal demons are demons given power from some higher evil. They can feel pain and can even be sent to the void like a normal demon but they will return much faster. Most immortal demons have special abilities and give off an aura that makes mortal demons uncomfortable, though a few of them have the ability to hide their aura. Examples of immortal demons are The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, The seven stages of Grief, and the Seven Deadly sins to name a few.

**The Seven Deadly Sins**

The seven deadly sins are a group of seven immortal demons put together by Satan himself so that the lord of Hell doesn't have to do the things he doesn't want to do. They are as follows.

**Envy: **Envy is the most powerful of the Seven Deadly Sins. He was the first member Satan empowered, and is the only member to have been to all eight levels of hell. No one knows his real name or how he died save for Satan. He has been in hell for a very long time so many guess that his death took place in the middle ages or some time similar to that. Envy's appearance is that of a tall thin man lacking facial features barring the shape of a nose, a pair of eyebrows and his right eye which he almost always keeps closed, except when he's about to kill someone. He is normally seen dressed in a black suit and tie. Envy's abilities include being able to move at light speed, he can stretch his arms and legs out to appear taller or to grab things from far away. He can form bladed tentacle like appendages from his body, and reform his body if he is beheaded, or dismembered.

**Sloth: **Sloth is the youngest of The Seven Deadly Sins, he is the second most powerful right under Envy though Sloth is rarely awake and aware to excercise it. Sloth has the appearance of a hairy ball with the only thing visible through the shaggy hair is a pair of eyes. He has long arms ending in clawed hands and legs as long as his arms. Sloth is normally asleep and if rudely awakened he will go on a rampage. Sloth possesses great strength, speed, and agility but that will only last for as long as he's been asleep. Sloth's aura tends to make other demons sluggish and can even make them fall over and go to sleep.

**Greed: **Greed is one of the older members of the seven deadly sins though he is arguably one of the weaker members physically. Greed is very small he stands at about two feet tall. His body is a pitch black with a white plague mask permanently on his face. His powers are mainly about being able to move inanimate objects with his mind in an odd form of telekinesis, though Greed can lessen the abilities of other demons by stealing their things and memories, leaving them in a state of amnesia.

**Wrath: **Wrath is one of the younger members of the seven deadly sins. Only having died in the late 1800s. He is a chaotic force who murders and destroys wantonly for the fun of it. Wrath carries the appearance of an average tiefling-esque red demon. His skin is a scarlet red, he has a messy head of black hair and is normally seen wearing a pair of blue jeans which had seen better days and a leather biker jacket. Wrath has a skinny pointed tail as well as a small pair of curved horns on his head. Wrath's abilities include enchanced strength, the ability to regenerate and the ability to ignite things like matchs, dynamite and cigarettes on his horns. He spends a lot of time with War and Pestilence and insists that they are his brother and sister, though no one knows if they are actually related.

**Lust: **Lust may not be a fighter but she is certainly one of the more dangerous members of the seven deadly sins. She carries a remarkably human-like appearance for a demon. She has blonde shoulder length hair that go into curls that rest on her shoulders. She wears clothing that gives away her old way of life, as a 1950s pin up model who had some slight sadistically murderous tendancies. Lust has another appearance as a featureless shadowy serpent. Lust's powers revolve around controlling the minds of other demons who have lustful thoughts or simply sucking out their energy and using it to sustain herself. Her serpent form has the ability to fly and can squeeze through even the smallest openings.

**Gluttony: **Gluttony is on the middle ground when it comes to the sins, he is nowhere near the oldest nor the youngest. He is not weak but would most likely not be able to stand against the more powerful members such as Envy and Sloth. Gluttony appears as a heavyset man with long muscular arms ended with clawed hands. Gluttony stands on a pair of stumpy legs. On his actual head are a pair of small eyes and a nose, but his mouth is on his stomach. Gluttony's mouth is full of sharp teeth that can bite through pretty much anything. Gluttony can convert food he eats into bullets he fires from his stomach or he can make himself stronger the more he eats. Gluttony wears a pair of brown pants that have seen better days as the pants have holes on both knees and they are covered in stains from his past meals.

**Pride: **Pride is arguably the weakest of the sins overall. He appears as a normal human with shiny golden skin and a moustachioued face. When Pride thinks highly of himself he grows in size and strength becoming a force to be reckoned with but unfortunately Pride's egotistical personality means the slightest insult could sink his ship of power and make him shrink into a small skinny man who isn't really good for anything except crying and feeling sorry for himself. Pride is normally only seen wearing a pair of green shorts.


	2. Meet the Sins

**Meet the Sins**

**Pride**

The large muscular figure of Pride moved down a bloodstained street. It was raining and small rivulets of blood were flowing down the sin's body. He was whistling in a jolly fashion as he flexed down the street. He passed a store with a sign that read "FUCK OFF"! Instead of "we're closed". He took a right and found himself in a decadent yard complete with flaming hedges. The incredibly human looking moustachioed demon stopped at a large stone door with snarling gargoyle heads immortalized on its door handle.

Pride knocked on the door and there was a pause before a robe and slippers clad Satan opened the door steaming coffee in hand. "Good morning commander, I received your summons and came right away" said Pride lifting his hand to show off a small pink slip of paper.

Satan sighed and rubbed his forehead bad temperedly as if it was much too early for this. "Pride…. That's a pink slip. You're fired, I don't need you seven idiots anymore. Now… Get off my lawn before I let Cerberus out" Satan growled slamming the door in his previous employee's face. Pride frowned, "Huh, your loss" Pride said to the door before pompously walking away.

He held up the pink slip narrowing his eyes. "Hmmmm, so that's what this says" he said to himself rubbing his chin in thought. Not that he'd ever admit it but the sin of Pride could not read.

**Lust**

Lust sat backwards on an unmade bed hitting her foot against her leg out of boredom. A pair of heart eyed male demons one of whom appeared to be some kind of walking plant and the other was a sort of walking fish. They were both slapping the ever loving shit out of each other at her command.

Lust had to say she'd been very excited to be relieved of duty. Finally she could just parade around hell and enslave or kill any horny fucker she ran into just for her own entertainment, unfortunately now after only a week of unemployment she was bored. The demon was remarkably human like in her appearance as she tapped a nail on the end table.

"You know what, you two can just kill each other or whatever I'm pretty bored" she commanded. The two enslaved demons immediately started choking each other as Lust surrounded herself in a black mist taking her true shadowy serpentine form. She flew out the window, leaving them to their combat, wondering what else she could do with her time.

**Gluttony**

There was a loud crunching sound coming from a dark alley, upon closer inspection one would find the fat form of Gluttony leaning against a wall holding a still wiggling arm to the mouth of his stomach. "I gotta get some salt for this. Note to self Tax demons taste nasty" grumbled Gluttony to himself tossing the arm into a dumpster. As always the sin was still hungry and had done pretty much nothing but eat since he'd received his pink slip.

"So, Tax demons are gross, lawyers are crunchy, and people who put up Christmas decorations in November are straight up poison" Gluttony recited the few examples of demons he'd eaten that he had a distaste for.

"That is a yummy looking car" Gluttony suddenly said as he left the alley and spied a red convertible parked nearby a demon in a top hat gulped when he saw the cannibal demon, before turning around and running for their afterlife. "Thanks for the snack pal" Gluttony said about the top hat demon as he lifted the car and slowly pushed it into his belly.

It was swallowed after a few satisfying minutes of crunching. Gluttony's stomach mouth closed when the car disappeared into his stomach. The toothy stomach mouth gave a burp and looked around. "Wonder where that well dressed dude went" he said to himself as he marched down the street still hungry.

**Greed**

In a run down old building, there could be heard quite a bit of commotion. Nine demons were sitting around a rectangular table covered in chips. The majority of the chips surrounded the small plague mask wearing form of Greed who rubbed his hands together deviously. "You guys just have awful luck today, wanna go double or nothing" chirped the little demon? The other demons around the table were as follows: the seven stages of grief. Shock, Denial, Anger, Depression, Bargaining, Testing and Acceptance, the final demon was the Grim Reaper whom sat way back in his chair in a relaxed manner. He was the only relaxed one.

Anger was fuming, the metallic many armed, three eyed demon was fixing Greed with a death glare to end all death glares. Depression was sobbing, she was doubled over the table crying hidden behind a giant poof of her hair. Shock looked like a deer in the headlights with his weird exclamation point hat. Denial was rocking back and forth desperately trying to convince herself that she had not in fact lost twelve games in a row to this little gremlin of a demon. She was a short demon though still much taller than Greed, and had a bird-like appearance.

Bargaining was deep in thought the antlered demon had money signs for eyes and was tapping his fingers on the table. Testing was trying to start a start a conversation with Acceptance about some kind of alliance. Testing had the appearance of a cactus with three holes poked into it vaguely in the shape of facial features and Acceptance had crab claw like appendages with the rest of his body looking like a big rabbit. He was ignoring Testing.

"Oh wait, sorry guys gotta go. Duty calls" said the Grim Reaper sitting up suddenly pushing his dark cloak back on his arm to reveal a beeping watch. "OD" was all he said before disappearing.

"Well I'm done for the night. Don't have anything left to lose" said Acceptance suddenly getting up and putting on his raincoat which was hung on a nearby coat rack. Anger grumbled something and got up, leaving without grabbing his coat. Bargaining tapped Depression on the shoulder and led her out as well. Denial got up and left just before Testing did the same. Shock took a little longer to recover himself but got up and began to follow.

"Alright, thanks for the good game. Have a good one" he said the stages gave backward waves as they left the building leaving Greed to count his winnings. Suddenly with a poof the Grim Reaper was back.

"Good news. She made it…. Where'd everybody go" he asked looking around quizzically.

"They went home. They couldn't handle an extra game against the best better in hell" Greed said inspecting a coin.

"Oh, alright well that'll be all for me too. Rooting for ya on that job hunt Greed" said Grim flying out of the building.

"Yeah sure whatever" said Greed counting coins and ignoring the fact that Grim had brought up his recent sacking.

**Wrath**

**(Little experiment here. I've noticed for some stories the writer will give out an action music recommendation. I'm not the best when it comes to that sort of stuff but if you'd like some music for this opening scene of the family of wacks here's too. "Crazy Train" by Ozzy Osbourne or if you don't mind repitition the chorus to "About 2 lose it" by J. T. Machinima.)**

A blue demon in a tank top looked back and forth before crossing the street, the demon yawned while stretching widely as he began to cross. Suddenly there was a loud sound of a car screeching to a turn. A black convertible was suddenly speeding down the street with a twin horned red demon wearing a leather jacket at the wheel.

The car sped forward and the poor blue demon got smacked in the side and sent flying. There were three demons altogether in the car. Aside from the one already mentioned there was another red demon who was much taller and more muscular than the one who was at the wheel. The bigger demons right arm had black swirl tattoos running along it. As the blue demon was sent flying the third demon showed herself. She was very small, maybe up to the driver's knee if they'd all be standing, the smallest demon was white from head to toe in a snow white dress. The only splash of color on her were her eyes which were red matching the other two.

The three of them gave a whoop of excitement and did a triple fist bump. "Nice hit bro, but it doesn't count" said the bigger demon, War. War pointed back to the blue demon who was dragging himself back onto the side walks. "Two broken legs don't get any points in a murder fiesta" War pointed out. Since he'd been fired Wrath had gotten together with his "brother and sister" to go on a weeklong celebration Wrath and his siblings dubbed a murder fiesta. Nobody knew if there was any real relation between Wrath, War, and the little demon, Pestilence but one thing was for sure. They were all around the same level of insane and got the same level of enjoyment out of driving around in a convertible and commiting hit and runs, street fights and property destruction.

"My turn please" said Pestilence clapping excitedly. Wrath turned around keeping his eyes off the road to answer.

"Sorry sis, you can't reach the pedals…. But there are like six or seven sticks of dynamite in that bin left over from yesterday" said Wrath pointing towards a bin that should've read DANGER but it was marked out and it read, FUN STICKS. Pestilence looked disappointed for a whole second before getting excited again and running over to the box she grabbed a stick of dyamite and ran back over to Wrath where she lit the string on one of his horns.

Pestilence's small size made her have plenty of room to run around in the car and she had to lift herself up to see of the back. She held back her right arm and tosses the stick to their right the stick broke through a window of a bar and several screams could be heard before a loud boom. The three demons laughed their asses off at that.

Wrath narrowed his eyes at a group of demons in gang memorobelia crossing the street. "Whaddya say to thirty points" War said cocking a shotgun.

"You're on" said Wrath pulling out a pistol.

"Sounds like a blast. Can I borrow Bonkface" Pestilence squeaked from the back holding out a metal bat with the words BONK scribbled on them.

"Sure, just make sure she gets lots of faces to bonk" Wrath said pressing down on the gas towards the gang.

**Envy**

In a dark and nondescript building the sound of foot falls echoed through the hall. The pale almost featureless form of Envy made his way up a flight of stairs. Unlike his compatriots Envy had been lying low since he'd been fired. He'd stumbled upon this building with nothing but a single squatter in it, and luckily tha squatter was someone Envy was already familiar with.

On the higher floor the squatter a small cat-like demon was sitting down taking a puff out of a long cigar with a blissfull expression on his face. The cat's name was Barnum and he'd had a few run ins with Envy in the past that didn't end terribly so Envy had decided to use the cat to gather information on the other sins.

Envy cleared his throat as he entered the room. "Excuse me Barnum, I thought we agreed you'd only take care of your… Habits outside". Barnum looked up slightly alarmed.

"Oh, hey Envy. You're back early. I-I-I-I am sorry about that. It slipped my mind is all" stammered Barnum kicking the cigar away. Envy raised an eyebrow, the oldest of the seven deadly sins was aware of the effect he had on other demons. They feared him, and it could be useful at times but right now it was a little obnoxious at the moment he wanted to have an actual conversation.

"Yes… I'm sure. Have you heard anything about the others" Envy asked? Barnum straightened up and answered.

"Oh, yeah that. Well let's see what's in the ole noggin" said the tie clad cat turning around and rubbing the sides of his head while simultaneously shaking like a leaf. Envy stood completely still and impassive waiting for a response. "Alright, so I heard about Lust going around the whorehouses filling them with corpses and brainwashed nutcases. Gluttony has gone on a bit of a food tour he's eaten about 20 demons now if my tip is good not to mention lots of buildings and cars. I'd have to be deaf not to hear about Wrath and his murder party with those sidekicks a his. Haven't heard a peep out of Greed, Sloth or Pride though. It's like they fell off the face of hell or something".

Envy nodded slowly at the information. "I'll be tracking down Lust at once. I don't like the idea of her running around indulging in her sort of pleasure unchecked, though Wrath will need to be dealt with shortly after that. Thank you for the information Barnum, you did me well" said Envy turning back to walk down the stairs he'd come from. The cat seemed to breathe easier after the most powerful of the seven deadly sins left the room.

**And that's the first chapter, hope ya liked it I realize a few of the first sins chapters were a little short but they'll all get more time to shine later. I would be willing to cross these characters over with Vivziepop's in Hazbin Hotel but wanted to give them their own little story for people to truly get to know them before I do any of that. Let me know which of the sins you enjoyed most or are intrigued to learn more about.**


	3. Recruiting Insanity

**Well here's the last of the prewritten chapters I'm gonna make for this story so I'll try to respond to reviews from here on so long as you know they're actually something I can reply to. Hope ya like it if you're reading this far.**

A massive plume of smoke blew into the sky as three sillouhettes walked out of it. Appearing from the smoke were Wrath, War and Pestilece. Wrath juggled a stick of dynamite in his right hand, War cracked his knuckles, and Pestilence held the bat "Bonkface" which seemed comically large in the little demon's hands.

None of them seemed to have a scratch on them. "That was great, did ya see the look on that guy's face when I smacked his gun out of his hands and shot him with it". Wrath giggled as he relived the chaotic fight.

"Like he stuck a toaster up his ass" War laughed in agreement. Pestilence grumbled a little.

"I didn't see it, I was too busy bonking that big guy in the face like you told me to" she seemed a little disappointed. Wrath waved a hand.

"Ahh don't worry sis, there'll be plenty more times when I can smack someone's gun out of their hand and shoot them in the face with it. I'll make sure you see it next time" Wrath reassured. The red demon reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigar. Wrath stretched his neck to the right and left. "That felt great though" he said, tossing the dynamite behind him and lighting the cigar on one of his horns before sticking it between his teeth.

"Nothing like a good bloodbath to get the blood pumpin" said War who had lost his shotgun in the fight. Pestilence looked ready and raring to go.

"Where to next" she asked excitedly?

"Wanna check the drug mart, that place is always full of dudes to fight" said Wrath breathing out a stream of smoke. Suddenly the three demons felt a presence, one that seemed all powerful and almost overwhelming. The fired sin and two horsemen looked forward as a tall white figure in a fancy suit and tie appeared.

Envy had appeared, he held his hands crossed behind his back. He moved his head from side to side as if looking over the situation though his eye as usual remained closed. Envy cleared his throat. "It's been a little bit Wrath. When was the last time we worked together" Envy said casually?

Wrath spit out his cigar, although Envy gave off an aura any other demon would run or cower from. Wrath and his siblings however seemed unaffected by it. "Is this a buddy of yours big bro" asked Pestilence? Wrath seemed deep in thought.

"Yeah, that's Envy. I uhhhhhh think it was when the big guy had us go smackdown Triple Terror Terry" said Wrath. "What brings ya out here Envy? OH! Do ya wanna join our murder fiesta" he turned to his siblings. "You guys don't care if a work buddy gets in on the party right" he asked?

Pestilence shook her head to show she didn't care. "Variety is cool with me" War said in a relaxed manner.

"Um. No. I didn't come to join in with…. Whatever you call this. I actually came to ask if you were interested in another job much in the same vein of our last one" Envy offered. Wrath blinked a little looking at the almost featureless sin.

"I don't know…. Do I get to kill stuff" Wrath asked? Envy shrugged slightly.

"In moderation" Envy answered. Wrath rubbed the back of his neck.

"Not gonna lie, killing stuff in not moderation is kinda my thing" said Wrath as if he was thinking it over.

"What if I throw in the perk of as much motor oil as you can drink" Envy added a bit more onto the offer.

"That changes things. When can I start" shouted Wrath?

"Right now would be great" Envy said. Wrath turned around and waved to his brother and sister.

"Alright bye guys. I got a new job and duty calls. Good look with the fighting and shooting and stuff. Oh yeah. Sis I'm gonna need Bonkface back" said Wrath.

War lifted a hand in a gesture. "Good luck in your new job bro" he said beginning to walk away.

Pestilence tossed the bat which Wrath caught in one hand. "Try not to get fired again" she called moving her little legs fast to catch up to War.

"Thanks" Wrath called back walking over to Envy. "So, what are we doing boss" Wrath asked?

"Well, first order of buisness is finding the other sins. I came to get you first because I knew you'd be the simplest to persuade. No offense" Envy said.

"Okay" said Wrath enthusiatically ready for something else to do. "Who else are we gonna pick up. I wanna sock Greed in the face. He owes me like seven sticks of dynamite at this point".

"No, unfortunately I've no clue where Greed is at the moment, I do know where Gluttony and Lust are though and the matter of recruiting Lust is a bit more pressing" answered Envy. Wrath's enthusiasm was immediately lost.

"Oh… Her. Do we have to? I mean c'mon dude she's creepy as fuck" Wrath complained.

"Yes we do. I can't have a member of the Seven Deadly Sins just running around doing as she pleases" Envy explained. "We'll simply need to investigate the red light district to find her. Do not blow anything up".

Wrath grumbled a little at Envy's last order.

**Some time later**

Wrath and Envy stood in front of a huge building with the flashing letters XXX over the door. The silhoutte of a lewd woman was posed seductively beside of the letters. Wrath seemed to be a little nervous. The crazy demon might be able to murder 30 people with no hesitation but sexual and romantic situations made him nervous.

"Envy, I-I-I'm just gonna stay out here alright" Wrath stammered leaning against the wall. Envy gave the red demon a look.

"I suppose it'd be alright if you kept watch. If you see Lust come get me" Envy ordered. Wrath gave a thumbs up while lighting a cigar supposedly to calm himself. Envy pushed open the door and immediately every eye in the club turned in terror. For once Envy actually wanted to appear terrifying. "Everyone. Out" said Envy in a commanding voice, before taking a large sidestep and gesturing to the door.

There was a wild rush as demons scrambled to obey and not be brutally sent to the void by Envy. One demon did not leave the demon, appeared to be a human with a curly blonde hairdo. She turned and gave an exasperated sigh. "Why do ya gotta ruin my fun. I almost had this whole room murdering each other" she said rested a hand on her cheek fixing Envy with an angry glare.

"Hello to you too Lust" said Envy pulling over a chair of his own and taking a seat.

Lust narrowed her eyes suspiciously at the tall demon. "What do you want Envy. You wouldn't come huntin for me just to say hi".

Envy leaned forward in his chair, rested his elbows on the table between them and pressing the tips of his fingers together. "I have a bit of a proposition to make. Ever since Satan dismissed us of duty there have been five demons running rampant through hell causing chaos even this place has never seen before. I believe that we, the seven deadly sins need a purpose. I am willing to provide that purpose. We will keep order in this place" said Envy not moving a muscle as he did so.

Lust gave a chuckle. "Really? You want to get seven sinners together to what? Keep the peace, in hell. That's ridiculous. Just cause you got over your sin doesn't mean the rest of us will" she said.

Envy did not move to signify whether or not Lust's mocking showed any affect on him. "I'm not a fool Lust, I know there will never be true peace in this place. It is hell after all. I am simply trying to create a task force. To deal with demons who show ambition beyond their place and to deal with the monsters and soulless that sometimes creep out of the eighth level. Would you be willing to join, I've already convinced Wrath to the cause".

"Like you persuading that idiot to listen to you is gonna change my mind" Lust said. "Even if I were to join your little club, I'm no fighter Envy".

"I'm sure you'd find other ways to be useful. You've always been a clever one Lust" Envy would've added and conniving but thought better of it.

"I'll give it a trial run. BUT! Only because getting horny fuckers to kill each other is starting to get old" said Lust. Envy was surprised, he hadn't expected it to be that easy. Maybe Lust did require a purpose.

"That's good to hear, Wrath is waiting outside" Envy said. "Shall we go". Lust got out of her chair and walked over to the door opening it and attempting to slam it in Envy's face but the pale demon caught it in his hand and ducked out of the door. Wrath was still waiting outside still smoking the same cigarette.

"Did you see those fuckers run it was… Oh. Hi Lust" Wrath started speaking when Envy left but all of the humor in Wrath's tone was gone when he realized Lust had exited before Envy.

"Hi there sugar" said Lust waving at Wrath and winking. Wrath gave a scared little noise and turned away tapping his foot nervously.

Envy ignored the antics between them as he always had when they'd worked together in the past. "I believe next we should try to find Gluttony. After that this gets a little more complicated though, I've yet to gain a lead on Greed and Pride" Envy informed them beginning to walk down the street. Wrath hurried to keep up not wanting to be left alone with Lust, who followed at a more relaxed pace.


	4. Getting the band back together

Envy and Lust walked down a dark alley. The tall pale demon seemed on alert, he was completely silent and still apart from his walking. Lust looked more bored then anything. "So, where'd you send Wrath again, and why do you need to keep an eye on me but that lunatic can just walk around wherever the fuck he wants" she complained. Envy's head swiveled around to address her.

"Because, Wrath may be an insane mass murderer but he told me he had a way to get a lead on Greed and the fact that he is unlikely to just fuck around in some porn studio making all the demons inside of it commit suicide or something" said Envy.

Lust grumbled. "I would not... Probably". Suddenly the two of them stopped, a shadow was moving up ahead. After a crunching noise filled the air there was little doubt as to who they'd found. The fat form of Gluttony appeared picking his teeth with a bone of some unfortunate demon.

"Whose'at? Wait a minute. Lust, and Envy. Did not expect to see you two. Wassup" Gluttony greeted tossing the bone over his shoulder where it clattered into a dumpster.

"Charming as ever Glut" Lust mocked.

"Greetings Gluttony. How's unemployment treating you" Envy questioned. Gluttony narrowed his eyes at Lust when he processed her mockery but seemed in a good enough mood towards Envy.

"I mean, it's been fine. I've just been eating random shit. As I do" Gluttony answered. Envy nodded politely, but Lust raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah sounds like you" she said. Gluttony seemed to be tiring of Lust's attitude.

"Would you be interested in taking another job as a member of the seven deadly sins" Envy questioned? Obviously trying to diffuse the situation before Lust started some kind of fight with Gluttony.

Gluttony scratched his stomach. "Not sure. It was a good enough gig, what's the catch... Besides having to work with that bitch again". Gluttony pointed towards Lust whose eyes narrowed; a forked tongue came out of Lust's mouth as she hissed at Gluttony.

"No real catch. You'd simply be helping to bring some semblance of order to this place, you wouldn't be able to eat wantonly but I'm sure you'll find no shortage of trouble makers to clamp your jaws on. This is hell after all" Envy informed. "And I'm sure Lust will be civil, won't you". Envy looked down at Lust his voice making sure she got the message for her to cut it out.

"Yeah, I guess I can lay off, gobblegut" Lust said throwing in one last mock.

Gluttony shrugged, that was probably one of the nicest things he'd ever heard come out of Lust's mouth. He mulled over Envy's proposition. "I mean it's been a little bit since I've been in a good fight... and all the demons around here have started to get the message and they've all fucked off" Gluttony said. "You've always been a solid dude Envy" Gluttony scratched the bottom of his chin in thought. "As solid a dude you can be in this place anyway. I'll join up with ya, just make sure to point me towards some 'trouble makers' soon cause I'm starved".

Envy wasn't too surprised at Gluttony's acceptance. The fat demon had always been one of, if not the most reasonable member of the sins. "It's good to have you on board Gluttony. I've set up a small base for us. Wrath has also agreed to join us and I'm still on the look out for Greed and Pride. If you would follow me, I can show you the building" said Envy walking away. Lust and Gluttony looked at each other, Gluttony shrugged and followed. Lust silently followed him.

**In another part of hell**

Wrath sat at a wooden table across from a grey feathered waterfowl. The goose was standing in its chair whilst regarding Wrath whereas Wrath for once seemed all business. A stoic poker face on his expression as he stared down the goose.

The goose honked at Wrath who in turn cleared his throat and said. "Honk". The goose was silent for a few moments before giving another honk. Wrath gave an exasperated sigh leaning back in his chair. "You're impossible" he complained, the goose simply honked again. A little-known fact about Wrath was the fact he was bilingual he could speak fluent goose and understand what the water boards said as well.

It may seem like an odd skill to have but right after humans, geese were the most common species that ended up in hell, so being able to talk to them wasn't odd though usually only the insane attempted. So, Wrath fit the bill to a T. Unfortunately, this goose wasn't cooperating. "Alright Miranda, if you're not gonna tell me where you saw Greed, I'm gonna bounce. Got a new job to keep" Wrath got up and waved goodbye to the goose who hissed at him.

The red demon pulled a key out of his pocket and hopped onto his motorcycle. A simple little thing with a probably defused bomb tied to the middle of the handle bars. The red demon remembered the directions Envy had given him and stopped the motorcycle in front of a run-down building with a yellow cat hefting a burlap sack over his shoulder was about to open the door.

Wrath marched over and kicked the door open, surprising the poor feline. "Sup, everybody. Oh hey Gluttony" said Wrath. The inside was sparsely decorated a table was on the right with a fridge and a few cupboards near it. The table was surrounded in chairs. The other half of the room had a beat-up looking couch with a mangy rug in front of it. Gluttony sat on the couch whilst Lust sat on a chair near the table, tapping her fingernails. Lust waved with one hand.

"Sup dumbass, why'd you bring a spectacled hairball" she asked pointing to the cat who walked in beside of Wrath. (Don't be alarmed I have slightly changed Barnum's character a little bit because I just like this version of him better. Bonus points if you can guess who he's based on).

The cat gave a little wave. "Hallo" said the cat. A few drops of blood were leaking through the sack over his shoulder.

"I'd like you all to meet Barnum" said Envy appearing from apparently nowhere. "He shares this building with us and here are a few ground rules. Gluttony do not attempt to eat him, and Lust do not fuck with his mind". Gluttony grunted and Lust gave a sarcastic disappointed snap. "This goes without saying but you are not to bring the cat any bodily harm either Wrath" Envy added. Wrath gave a mini salute.

Wrath's gaze strayed to the sack and he noticed a finger popping out of it. "DUDE NO FUCKIN WAY" Wrath suddenly shouted suddenly swiping the sack away from Barnum and opening it revealing its contents. "Dude's got a sack full of severed body parts. Where'd you get so many" said Wrath obviously impressed.

Barnum straightened his glasses which had been moved out of sorts by Wrath's rude grab. "Vell, I have my ways. A magician never reveals his secrets you know" said Barnum demonstrating his heavy german accent. "I do need zat back sough". Barnum grabbed the sack back.

"What're you doing with them" Wrath asked excitedly?

"Can I have one" Gluttony called over?

"Uhhh, no" said Barnum walking towards the back of the building. "Zese limbs vill prove very useful in my experiments" the cat informed.

"That sounds fun, can I help" said Wrath unable to contain his excitement at the idea of playing with dismembered body parts.

"Vell, I suppose you could. Just do not press any buttons I do not tell you to" Barnum said.

"I'm sorry Dr cat I cannot make that promise" Wrath said following anyway.

"Refer to me as Barnum, or Dr Vilhelm if it vould so please you" informed Barnum.

"Sure, thing Dr Vilhelm" said Wrath copying the cat's accent. Barnum sighed as he entered a door in the back of the room Wrath following.

With them gone Lust looked over at Envy. "I noticed you haven't said anything about Sloth. You'd figure that you'd be more focused on finding him of all demons. It smells fishy to me Envy" Lust challenged.

Envy shrugged, "no need to worry, Sloth is sorted".

"I'll take your word for it" said Gluttony. Suddenly there was a loud zapping noise which came from the door Wrath and Barnum had gone into.

"What the fuck was that" Lust asked?

"I'm checking it out" Gluttony said getting up.

"Let me know what it is" Lust said obviously not going to get up. Envy didn't seem alarmed by the noise, but he followed behind Gluttony as the fat demon slowly opened the door.


	5. First Job

Gluttony's hand grabbed the door handle, the fat demon threw a look at Envy who stood behind him. Envy made a gesture with his hand to go on, Gluttony pulled the door open and the two sins were given a view of a dimly lit room decorated with a few shelves decorated with jars which held small floating body parts, a minifridge, and a sort of medical bed which held a writhing mass of flesh and tentacles. Wrath and Barnum were in one part of the room with Wrath laughing hysterically while Barnum seemed to be reprimanding him.

"Vat did you zink you vere doing. I said not to press any damn buttons" the yellow cat demon seemed almost murderous. "You ruined Valter". Barnum pointed to the writhing mass on the table, Walter.

"What the fuck happened in here" Gluttony asked, "why do you seem so calm". He added turning to Envy. Envy just sort of shrugged.

"This isn't the first time Barnum has tried to create his own demon. I don't really care so long as he cleans them up when he's done" Envy informed throwing Barnum a pointed glare. The cat seemed to shrink a bit under Envy's scrutiny.

"Oh yes, of course I vill do zat" said Barnum reaching behind him he pulled out a handgun and took aim at the writhing, now screeching form of Walter and fired three shots into it. "Gone too soon" Barnum added quietly under his breath. "But zat was zee first of my experiments to actually somevat succeed, vat button did you press"?

Wrath shrugged. "I don't know dude, I pressed a bunch of the ones with the neatest pictures on them" he said. Barnum's sighed but then took a few steps and opened the minifridge.

"Zis vas going to be his head, but now zere is no body to use" Barnum sounded melancholy while depositing the severed head of a lizard demon on the nearest shelf.

"Don't worry dude I'll collect more body parts for you" said Wrath in a jolly tone. Barnum brightened up.

"Really you vould" Barnum said looking like a child who'd just been offered a new flashy toy.

"No, you will not. Not in your free time anyway. Barnum, I'm willing to let you run around and collect things for your experiments but I'm gathering the sins together so that mass murders will stop happening" Envy explained. Wrath shrugged again.

"Sorry dude, just got the job. Don't wanna get canned again but if I so happen to run into a corpse, I'll let ya know" Wrath offered.

"That vould be nice of you" Barnum said.

"You mind if I do some cleanup" asked Gluttony? Lifting the now still form of Walter.

"Get zat failure out of my sight please" Barnum allowed. Gluttony opened his mouth wide and dropped the body into it, giving a few crunches before swallowing.

"Very tasty, let me know what ya used to stick it together, it made for a very good seasoning" said Gluttony rubbing his stomach.

"BOYS! Ya might wanna have a look at this" Lust was standing at the door though the sin of Lust never seemed urgent this was about as close as any of them had ever seen.

"What is it" Envy asked walking forward. The other sins left Barnum to his lab and followed Lust who was hastily explaining what she'd gotten them together for.

"While I was waiting for all of you to get finished playing with dr cat, I decided to explore upstairs. I went up the stairs and happened to look out of a window and boom I saw that" Lust led them up the stairs and pointed out the window. In the distance a giant shape lumbered through hell creating a massive trail of destruction wherever it happened to go.

"Good spotting Lust, Now we'll need to go take care of it" Envy said.

"I don't know man. That's pretty big, it's gonna take a lot of bites" Gluttony pointed out.

"Sounds like a blast. I'll go grab my big bombs" Wrath said turning and running away.

"Wait, what am I supposed to do" Lust asked, "somehow I don't think dirty mind control is going to do anything to... That"?

"That's a good point, I'll think of something along the way" said Envy. The sins walked out of the front door and found Wrath fixing a sidecar to his motorcycle and filling it with explosives of all shapes and sizes.

"Hey guys. Y'all ready to blow up a giant monster. It has been awhile since I've blown up a giant monster and I am ready for it" Wrath waved over. Lust giggled and laid a finger on Wrath's chest.

"Aww, you're so excited" she said. Wrath hopped back smacking her finger away.

"Alright. cool, bye guys" Wrath hopped on his motorcycle and sped away, leaving Lust to laugh evilly.

"He makes it too easy" she said. Gluttony grumbled and stomped bye.

"If you ain't too busy messin with captain crazy let's go kill ourselves a monster" Gluttony said.

"Well said Gluttony" Envy agreed.

**Elsewhere a few minutes later**

Cornelius the giant beetle monster stomped through hell, the giant bug had been asleep for two thousand years and recently had been rudely awakened. The monster opened its jagged mouth and gave an angry roar. Suddenly the insect felt something hit against its back shell.

"Sup" called a cocky voice behind it. The insect's yellow eyes narrowed angrily at the comparably tiny two horned red demon standing behind it. Wrath had a shotgun in hand, he cocked the pump back once. "You wanna fight" he asked? The beetle monster roared and lifted a spiked foot before trying to stomp on Wrath.

Wrath did a roll to the side to avoid the stomp and laughed insanely. "Hell, yeah ya do". He fired a shot or two at the monster's face, causing it to screech again. A piece of rubble suddenly hit Cornelius in the side of the head causing the beetle to screech again.

"Heads up" Gluttony called out holding a broken sign to his stomach and quickly consuming it. The fat demon's mouth opened and his many rows of teeth rotated, there was a whirring noise and cascades of bullets began to fire from Gluttony's stomach.

"Yo, I forgot you could do that" said Wrath coming out of an alley he'd gone into. He held his sidecar in his arms, Wrath plopped it on the ground and began to dig into it. He pulled out a piece of dynamite, "hey Gluttony I've got an idea for how to kill this thing real fast and flashy".

"Can you do it without causing more damage then the monster would" Envy arrived on the scene quickly ducking only the top half of his body to the right at an unnatural right angle to avoid a sweep from Cornelius.

The bug screeched angrily at all the demons who had arrived to fight it. Cornelius made a slap at Gluttony slamming him through a building. Suddenly a carpet of black acted like a blindfold over Cornelius's eyes. The monster staggered around from side to side screeching and using two of its six legs to bat at its eyes.

"Hey, she's actually being useful" Gluttony pulled himself out of the rubble nearby. "What was that plan Wrath"?

"Make it eat a kilogram of explosive" said Wrath excitedly.

"That would be tough" Envy said, "very few creatures would willingly eat explosives".

"What if he eats me too, well the top half of me" Wrath added. He opened up one half of his jacket to show multiple sticks of dynamite taped to the inside of it.

"You are a crazy motherfucker huh" Gluttony asked?

"Yes. Yes I am" said Wrath. Gluttony shrugged and shook his head a little annoyed.

"Alright I'll toss ya. Get over here" Gluttony ordered. Wrath walked over, Gluttony grabbed Wrath by the stomach and foot. With a grunt of exertion Gluttony ripped the crazy sin in two. Gluttony dropped the bottom half on the ground. Wrath grabbed a single fuse and lit it on his horn. The fuse was connected to all of the dynamite strapped to his chest.

"I'm ready. Throw me" Wrath commanded. Envy cupped his hands around where his mouth would be if he had one.

"LUST! HOLD THE MONSTER'S MOUTH OPEN! WRATH'S HAD AN IDEA" he called over to her. Lust must've heard. Her shadowy serpent's tail lashed around Cornelius's upper jaw and forcibly opened the monster's maw.

Gluttony pulled his right arm back and let Wrath fly. Wrath gave a whoop of excitement as he flew through the air and landed inside of the monster's mouth. He was in there for a grand total of five seconds before there was a massive boom.

Lust flew back down and turned back into her woman form. "So, his plan was to blow himself up? And you guys let him do it? That's hilarious" she began to laugh her head off. bits and pieces of Cornelius flew everywhere covering the street in legs, bits of shell, and blood. Envy wiped a bit of blood off of his suit.

"He seemed excited" Envy retorted. Suddenly the bottom half of Wrath that had been deposited on the ground began to wriggle. Bones began to sprout out of the piece of spine that showed where Wrath had been ripped in half. Soon the bones were filled out with muscle, which was followed by Wrath's outsides.

Wrath was giggling a little lying on the ground. "That was great" he said taking a breath. "I do need a new jacket now though" he added.

"I'm sure we'll be able to find one" Envy said walking away. Gluttony raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, Envy. I just realized. I've seen you take on bigger things then that. Why didn't you just take care of it" Gluttony asked?

"It was below my station. I figured I'd let you three have the pleasure" Envy informed.


	6. Pride and Parties

**I just realized I forgot to include a music choice for the Sins fighting Cornelius. I think Fight Dirty by Mischief Brew is what I would pair with it. Anyway, enjoy the next chapter.**

It was the day after the fight with that giant bug monster and the Sins were just waking up from sleep. Lust seemed to be half asleep sitting at the table, resting her head on a hand. Gluttony was leaning against a wall gnawing on a piece of wood. There was a loud thump upstairs, Wrath came falling down the stairs landing on his stomach. "Good morning. I forgot about the stairs" Wrath greeted.

"Morning" Gluttony grunted finishing the wood with a burp.

"Did you enjoy your morning wood" Lust mocked.

"Don't make innuendos outta my snacks. You woke up before me, did you happen to see where Envy got to? Haven't heard a peep outta the doc either now that I think of it" Gluttony pondered.

"Didn't see. I guess the boss had something important to do with his time" she assumed. "Maybe he got a lead on Greed or Pride. I don't give a shit about where the cat went... Hey since Envy isn't around do you two wanna snoop around and figure out what he did with Sloth? I'm a little curious as to what being 'sorted' means" Lust said.

Suddenly the sound of sobbing filled the air and the door opened. Envy entered the building holding what appeared to be a crying hunched over tiny man. "If you're that curious as to where Sloth is I'll show you, but first I've got to take care of Pride" Envy told them. He stretched his arm which held the tiny man who was apparently Pride. Envy plopped Pride onto the couch. Pride rocked back and forth whimpering slightly.

"That's Pride? I remember him taller" Gluttony observed. Envy dug into one of the cabinets and pulled out a comic book.

"As members of the Seven Deadly Sins our powers fluctuate depending on how much we embrace our sin. Pride had his ego attacked and this is what happens when he doesn't feel good about himself. Though I expected that was already common knowledge. Here you go" Envy explained, he offered Pride the comic book. Pride sniffled and took it, he hesitated before opening it but beginning to get sucked into the read quickly.

The comic had its original title marked out with a sharpie with the word "Pride" scribbled below the hidden title. Every character inside of the book had a picture of Pride's face pasted onto where their face would be. As Pride read, he began to grow, his moustache thickened, and his muscles swelled.

The words were also marked out by a sharpie and replaced by the word Pride here and there. The four sins watched the fifth read the book until he was so big it looked like he was going to topple the piece of furniture, then Envy stretched his arm and snatched away the book. "How are you feeling Pride" Envy asked?

"I have never felt better, what are you talking about" said Pride hopping to his feet and flexing his bulging muscles.

"Well you were just crying your sorry ass off like three seconds ago" Lust pointed out. Pride raised an eyebrow at her and fiddled with his moustache.

"You must be delusional Lust, the strongest of the demon ever to exist never cries" Pride guffawed. He looked around, "I don't remember walking into this droll place. What the fuck happened?"

"We were all fired a week ago. I'm bringing us back together" Envy informed him. "We'd be delighted if you would join back up". Gluttony was gnawing another wooden plank, he suddenly looked up.

"Oh. Uh yeah, we'd love to get you on the crew again. Totally" Gluttony said slowly pushing the plank into his mouth.

"I remember now! That fool Satan was intimidated by my power and so he tried to be rid of us. Hah, well I'm very glad that you four realized what my leadership could bring to the table" Pride boasted.

Wrath was busy relocating his leg which had been broken from his tumble down the stairs. With an audible crack it went back into place. "I don't think he was scared of us. In my letter he said I was dumb, irresponsible, unpredictable, and a liability" said Wrath counting the complaints on one of his fingers.

"Sounds about right" Lust added, "and Pride I am not gonna take orders from your dumbass. It's already killing me to listen to noodle arms over there" she pointed over to Envy. Pride must've still been on a high from the comic book because if Lust's words meant anything to him he didn't show it.

"Well Pride, if you rejoin the seven deadly sins you would take commands from me, though I'm willing to listen to any impute any of you have to say" Envy pointed out.

"Can we blow up the bloody mary place on 69th avenue" Wrath piped up immediately when Envy spoke about impute.

"No" Envy answered just as quickly.

"I'll keep the bombs ready... Just in case you change your mind" Wrath said.

"Don't do that" Envy advised.

"Riiiighhhht" Wrath agreed winking obviously. Envy sighed and gave up looking back over at Pride who seemed to be preoccupied with his muscles.

"Well, what do you say Pride" Envy asked? Pride hopped up for a bit as if he'd forgotten where he was but the buff sin quickly remembered.

"I suppose I could consider joining this little troupe again. Assuming you'd be willing to make me your second in command" Pride laid out his terms.

Envy shrugged, "sure, why not".

Pride gave a deep throaty laugh. "I will graciously accept your terms then. What great task will require my immense strength next" said Pride flexing his muscles harder then he ever had before.

"Actually, I asked Barnum to go collect supplies for a meager celebration after our victory yesterday, assuming nothing comes up" Envy said.

Suddenly the door swung open with Barnum holding two bags full of beers and snacks. "My mission was successful. Please keep merriment to a minimum. Loud noises disturb my preserved eyeballs" Barnum commanded dropping the bags on the floor before going into his lab.

"Did you get... The good shit"? Asked Wrath a bit insanely. Envy handed him a bottle of motor oil labeled. DANGER: FLAMMABLE!

"Go nuts" Envy said. Wrath almost couldn't contain his excitement.

"Aww, HELL YEAH"! Wrath shouted. And with that the sins had a small celebration.

**Elsewhere**

In a dark dusty bar a demon with two x's for eyes, a cowboy hat a small handlebar moustache and a western get up downed a bottle of liquor slowly moving a letter around in his hands. The bartender was a rooster demon wearing a vest who simply contented themselves with cleaning a stain off of the counter. A board creaked from the door of the bar and the cowboy demon turned slightly.

The stranger had eight tentacles like some kind octopus, the demon's head looked more like some kind of snake. Its eyes were an angry amber. The demon made its way over to the bar but didn't take a seat.

"Micah Bell" the octopus questioned? The western demon smacked his lips once and set down the bottle.

"Yeah. Mr Purple"? Micah questioned back narrowing the x's that were his eyes until they were almost lines. The demon did have purple leathery skin, perhaps this was who had sent the letter.

"Aye. I asssssume that becaussse you showed up you want to join our little party" hissed the octopus demon. Micah nodded at Mr. Purple's assumption.

"If the reward's as good as you claim I'd be insane to turn it down" Micah said. Mr purple nodded his viper like head at that.

"I've heard that a bit. If you're in I suppose I'll introduce you to the boss. Come along" Mr Purple turned around and began to walk out of the door, Micah got up to follow him revealing a skinny whiplike rat tail.

The bartender stammered a bit. "You gonna pay that tab rat boy" the chicken demanded.

"Fuck off" Micah countered pulling out a revolver and sending a bullet into the chicken's gut sending the fowl sprawling behind the counter. Micah followed Mr. Purple out the door and disappeared.

**If you get the reference you're immediately cured of Lumbago.**


	7. Sloth and Bad Guys

The party had been a fun distraction for the sins but now that it was over Lust had a question for Envy. Unfortunately, he seemed to have disappeared after the festivities ended. Pride was obviously knockout drunk singing some kind of song while stumbling around like a fool. Wrath was giggling in a corner with an empty bottle of motor oil in hand, smoke was drifting off of both his horns as if they'd recently been on fire. Gluttony was lying on his back apparently having a snooze while simultaneously chewing whatever food was leftover.

The cat was gone, most likely back in his lab doing some kind of experiment, but Lust didn't see Envy anywhere. Lust slimmed down turning into her serpent form, she slithered through the air pushing through a window and finding Envy outside leaning against the building with his gaze pointed at apparently nothing. She dove beside of him and shifted back to normal. "Sup no-face" Lust greeted.

Envy turned his head to look at her and gave her a half-hearted wave. "Greetings Lust" Envy greeted, "what brings you out here"?

"I heard you mention something about showing me where Sloth is when you came back from grabbing Pride. Funny how you immediately distracted everyone from that with a little party" Lust accused. Envy sighed and straightened up, he cracked his neck at a 90 degree angle to stretch.

"You mistake my intentions Lust. I'll show you where Sloth is post haste, but I feel everyone should know where he is. Let's get everyone together" Envy turned and opened the door, "ladies first". Lust narrowed her eyes at him and went through obviously still suspicious of the sin of Envy.

"Everyone follow me, but be quiet please Sloth is probably asleep and if you wake him up too abruptly he will likely tear the building down" Envy commanded stretching an arm to get Gluttony to his feet and grabbing the bottle from Wrath's hands to gain his attention.

"IT WASN'T ME! Wait what'd I do" Wrath said surprised. He looked around then seemed to realize what was going on. "Who's Sloth? Are you talking about that snoring circle thing that used to show up for jobs"?

"Wait you're keeping that guy in the building? I don't think that's a good idea Envy, I mean I've only seen Sloth wake up once and it was not pretty" Gluttony said. "Pride you comin"?

Pride guffawed while not being able to walk straight. "Unfortunately, no I will not be coming. This couch has challenged me and I will be giving it a what for" Pride said shaking his unsteady fist at the couch.

"Fair enough" Envy said, "he's simply down here". Envy opened a hidden door which led down a dimly lit stairway.

"Creepy. How many bodies do ya got down here"? Lust commented as she began to descend after Envy. Gluttony followed after reaching into his open mouth and pulling out a match. He grabbed Wrath by the shoulder and lit the miraculously dry match on one of Wrath's horns adding a bit of extra light. Wrath took up the rear behind them.

"You guys didn't know about this place? I found it last night when I was stashing bombs" Wrath said looking around and suddenly jumping to grab something. He landed with a bomb in his hands, the words _KABLAMO_ were written on the side of the circular explosive.

"Clean up after yourself" was all Envy said before stopping at the bottom of the stairs in front of a locked steel doors with the words. _Danger do not open! _Were inscribed on the door. Envy made a fist with his hands and gently knocked on the door. "Sloth, wake up" he said not too quiet but not too loud.

After that Envy began to undue a myriad of locks. "Why've you got him locked up so much. Sloth never does anything"? Gluttony inquired stopping behind Lust. Wrath pushed past the fat demon to try and get a peek at the door.

"Because, if I didn't go through all of these procedures, I'm sure Lust would try and wake Sloth up just for kicks, or Wrath would try and hide bombs in here and inadvertently wake him up" Envy informed opening the door wide.

"He's got a point, that sounds like something I would do" Wrath agreed. The room seemed pretty much empty with only a large mass of hair curled up in the center of it. A pair of eyes lazily flicked open, and blinked slowly. The mass of hair grew in height as a yawning noise came from it.

"Hey guys, what's the big deal"? Sloth greeted them speaking very slowly and between yawns. "Thanks for the room Envy. It's been so quiet down here. So good for napping".

"That's good to hear" Envy greeted. Lust put her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes looking around the room.

"How many other rooms are you hiding in this place"? She asked even more accusation in her voice.

"There are lots of rooms in this building. None are really hidden; you just haven't been looking around much" Envy corrected.

"I'm gonna wait up there" Gluttony said suddenly leaving the other sins in Sloth's room. Gluttony didn't seem comfortable hanging around Sloth.

"Could you guys leave me to nap? I was having like the best dream and I wanna get back to it" Sloth explained revealing a skinny hairless arm to rub at his eyes.

"You heard the man" Envy said. Lust harrumphed and left, Wrath gave an excited wave before dropping the KABLAMO bomb into the room and going up the stairs as well. Envy grabbed the bomb and shut the door behind him.

The sins all met up in the main room where Gluttony swallowed the still burning match to get rid of it. "So, now we just wait for some kinda call"? Lust said to the others with a questioning tone.

Pride was sitting on the couch with a black eye. "The sooner I can get into action the better. I'll defeat all who challenge us" Pride boasted.

"You're forgetting Greed" Gluttony pointed out.

"I'm still looking for a good lead on Greed. I thought of someone who may know his whereabouts but he's agreed to meet me on the morrow so I suppose that is exactly what we'll be doing. Though if any of you would like to go on patrol that would be useful" Envy told them.

"Beats stickin around here. Bye" Lust gave a backwards wave before turning into her snake self and slithering out a window.

"Wonder how many people she'll mess with out there" Gluttony wondered aloud.

"I'm sure she'll be on her best behavior" Envy countered.

"Bullshit" Gluttony retorted. Wrath hopped up from under the table with some oil and other chemical substances in hand.

"If we're not busy I'm gonna go burn stuff" he said turning around and running out the door.

"Don't cause mass mayhem- yeah he isn't listening to me" Envy called after him.

"I'm going to lie down for a moment" Pride said sitting length wise on the couch.

**Elsewhere**

A grey car pulled into a black warehouse. A light suddenly flickered on and the doors opened, stepping out of the doors were Micah Bell, and Mr. Purple. "This is it? This place looks like shit" Micah complained.

"You looked in the mirror recently"? A voice called from the ceiling; a dark shape dropped from the ceiling. A green eyed human looking demon with brown hair landed beside of the car. He was dressed in brown slacks and a grey hoodie with a pair of large black feathered wings on his back.

"Where are the others Valian? When I left everyone was here" Mr. Purple asked.

The black winged demon, Valian shrugged. "They got bored I guess and went to explore I just started flying around" he explained.

"Wait a minute. You're one of those damn fallen angels. I didn't know any of you were still hangin around" Micah said. Valian shrugged his wings.

"Eh, we're around. You just need to look" he said.

"Is that mister Pink" called a feminine voice from an open doorway. A female demon pushed her way out, the demon was entirely purple with a scorpion's stinger in place of hair.

"Purple" Mr. Purple corrected her. An angry growl came from behind the female demon.

"About fuckin time" A demon so big he needed to duck under the doorway came into sight. He was muscularly built with a long dog-like snout. The wolf demon was covered in patchy hair, his ribs were exposed as if he hadn't had a meal in a long time. "When the fuck is the real boss gonna show up. I'm tired of sitting around" the wolf demon complained.

"Valian, Tina, Mange. This is Micah Bell, the newest member of our little conglomerate. And Mange calm down, the Lady will be here in her own time" Mr. Purple introduced Micah to the other demons and reassured the wolf demon, Mange.

"I don't think this lay of yours if taking us seriously. I bet she's laughing her ass off at us sitting here like a bunch of dumbasses I for one am not having it" Mange snarled but suddenly the massive wolf demon froze in place. A pair of shadows stood in the door way. One was towering, it stood even taller then Mange and was draped in some kind of cloak a pair of purple eyes considered the assembled demons before her.

Beside of the huge demon stood a much smaller slender demon in an emerald suit, on his head the demon wore a black fedora, and on his lips was a long wooden flute which he seemed to be blowing into.

"I apologize for keeping you all waiting" said the bigger demon. "I am Lady Ruby, and I'm glad you could all make it. Piper allow Mange to move". The smaller demon, Piper took his mouth away from the flute and Mange fell to his knees panting heavily.

"What. The. Fuck" Mange growled. Lady Ruby took a few steps forward.

"If you're ready to listen then maybe you would all shut up so that I may tell you how we can win dominion over this hellhole, and with enough power and perseverance. Maybe even more" Lady Ruby said. Reaching down with a clawed hand, she grabbed Mange by the shoulder and stood him on his feet before shoving back a few steps.

"I'm listening" said a high-pitched voice. Lady Ruby looked up and noticed a small shape in the back of the warehouse watching her.

"Ah, Greed. I was wondering where you'd gotten to. Good to know I have all of your attentions" Lady Ruby said. With the other demons silent Lady Ruby began to tell them of her plans. By the end of it even the angry and uncooperative Mange was smiling and nodding.


	8. Grim tidings

Envy and Pride stood in front of a small wooden building, which lacked a door and had a hanging sign of a skull and a scythe on it. "What is that odor in the air" Pride complained waving his arm in front of his nose. Envy raised an eyebrow, he smelled nothing but then his indention of a nose wasn't the most functional.

"I've no clue what you mean" Envy said, "c'mon, let's not leave the Reaper to wait". Envy ordered pushing the curtain of beads that replaced a door out of the way to step inside. Pride held his arms together to squeeze through the door that was much too narrow for the buff demon.

A day had passed since Envy had shown the other sins Sloth's room and Envy's original plan had been to go meet with the Grim Reaper on his own but Pride had wanted to come along and had made a list of reasons why he should be able to come. Half of them didn't matter in all honesty but Envy didn't have the patience to convince Pride to stay behind. As for the others Lust had disappeared that morning off to do something, after reporting nothing on her patrol.

Envy had left Gluttony and Wrath back at the building, fairly certain Gluttony had the sense to make sure Wrath didn't burn the place down. The inside of the building had some form of harmonic music playing while some oddly colored smoke filled the air.

There was a conversation going on between the Grim Reaper sitting on a bean bag chair and some demon in a brightly colored suit of plate armor.

"Sorry to interrupt you Joan... But my three'o'clock is here" said the Grim Reaper who held up a bony hand. He pointed to the two sins.

The armored demon, Joan waved him off. "Sure, I'll just tell you of my amazing career burning heretics later". She lay back and looked up.

"Good afternoon Reaper. I trust you know why we're here" Envy said in greeting towards the Reaper.

The cloaked skeleton tapped his lower jaw-bone with a finger. "I think you're here looking for that tiny dude otherwise known as Greed. Like you said when you set up this little meet and greet. Take a seat dude let's talk" the Reaper pointed to a bunch of other bean bag chairs.

Pride flexed his muscles once for good measure and flopped back onto one of the chairs almost sinking to the floor because of his large size. Envy slowly sunk onto a chair. "You'd be correct Reaper, I'd be grateful for any information you'd have on Greed's whereabouts" Envy said.

The Grim Reaper seemed to be deep in thought. "Wish I could help ya dude. I used to meet with Greed on Wednesdays with the Seven Stages. But Anger got pissed last Wednesday and kind of messed everything up so we haven't really met since then and I haven't seen or heard of Greed since" he explained.

"Out of all of us I suppose it would make sense for Greed to just up and disappear. If I was so tiny I wouldn't want to be seen either" Pride cut in.

"That is unfortunate" Envy said bringing his hands together in some kind of thought.

"He did mention something about some kind of work opportunity while we were playing though, he didn't mention exactly what it was exactly" The Grim Reaper told them.

"That is... odd to hear. And I'm not sure I like the sound of it" Envy said the last part almost to himself.

"Bah, how much damage could Greed do, even with some kind of job. He is small and weak whereas you have me at your disposal and I am large and strong" Pride boasted hopping to his feet and almost hitting his head on the ceiling.

"I'm afraid being large and strong wouldn't mean much against Greed" Envy said. Suddenly the almost featureless sin stood stock straight. His head turned at an unnatural anger. "I'm sorry to cut our meeting short Grim, but I seem to have detected something that requires my attention" his head did another 180 to look at Pride. "Pride go and get the other sins ready. I think we've got more work to do". With that Envy began to straighten his head back into place and take his leave.

"Cool. Nice to see you dude" The Grim Reaper waved as Pride squeezed out of the door again.

"Now that they're gone allow me to tell you about the sack of Dubai" Joan suddenly hopped up while roaring out another war story. The Reaper simply shrugged and politely listened to the armored demon tell her story.

**Back at the HQ**

"How much motor oil did you bet I could drink" Wrath said while wiping his mouth with his free hand. Behind him there was a stack of empty motor oil bottles. Two plumes of fire came out of his horns as he faced Gluttony who looked a little sad.

"Twenty-nine" Gluttony said forlornly for Wrath was on his thirtieth bottle.

Wrath giggled, "never doubt me sir now hold up your part of the deal". Gluttony groaned, reached into his mouth and pulled out a box of matches before handing them to the crazy red demon. "Thank you. I'll make veeeery good use of them".

"Just don't blow up the house" Gluttony ordered.

"Oh yeah sure I won't" Wrath agreed stashing the box of matches in one of his jacket pockets. Suddenly Lust flew through on of the windows in her serpent shape.

"Have you two noticed the crowd outside" she asked? Gluttony and Wrath looked up and Wrath shook his head. Gluttony walked to a lower window and spread apart two blinds to see outside. As Lust said there was a large group of demons standing outside. Gluttony's gaze went immediately to the two biggest. A massive cloaked figure and a wolfish demon who stood a tad shorter than the first. The others were a feminine demon who seemed to be an unnatural purple color from head to toe. Instead of hair she had a scorpion's stinger on her head.

One seemed to be a black-eyed pale demon with an emerald green suit on and a wooden flute in his hand. Beside of that one was what appeared to be a fallen angel who wore a sword on his hip. A light purple tentacled snake thing, and a rat-tailed gunslinger rounded out the group. Or so Gluttony thought until he noticed the small familiar shape of Greed between the scorpion lady and the wolf. "Holy shit, they got Greed" Gluttony whispered.

He shut the blind. "What the hell do you think they want" Lust cut in until a feminine voice boomed throughout the building.

"Greetings, four of the seven deadly sins. My name is Lady Ruby, I have been thrown to the side for far too long and I think it is time for the downtrodden to rise. My initial thought was that we would be enemies in this great war to come, but when Satan sacked the lot of you, I thought you could make excellent allies. Together we can overthrow Satan and rule over both Heaven and Hell bringing peace to the afterlives of man".

"Is she nuts" Lust asked?

"Doesn't sound so bad to me" Wrath said rubbing his chin.

"If there's another war between heaven and hell, the fissures from the conflict disrupting the natural order would shake us down to the eighth level. It almost happened last time, which was why nobody won. If what I've heard is true" Gluttony informed.

"But the eighth level sounds awesome. Nothing but soulless and monsters to kill... Until you die. Which... I'm cool with" Wrath countered. Gluttony and Lust looked at each other exasperated and looked back at Wrath.

"You might be fine with living in a place worse than hell but I sure am not" Lust scolded.

She flew to the window and gave Lady Ruby an answer. "I don't think we wanna help you fight your fight. In fact, I think we have to stop you".

Gluttony cracked his knuckles, Wrath pulled out a bomb from his pocket with one hand and his baseball bat with the other. "Shame" was all Lady Ruby said. The ground shook and three blacked hands grabbed each sin while appearing from the floor.

"Shit" was all Gluttony said before they got tossed through a wall. Then the fight started. The scorpion Lady struck first.

"Sup. Name's Tina. Nice ta make your acquaintance" she said before stabbing at Lust. Lust serpentine shape allowed her to coil around the stinger, grab it with her tail and toss the scorpion lady away. The first may have been simple but then ghostly flute music began to sound and suddenly Lust grabbed Gluttony by the shoulder.

"What the fuck. Lust are you double crossin us" Gluttony accused.

"Not on purpose" Lust said while swinging Gluttony around like a ragdoll. Wrath was facing down the fallen angel, but they weren't fighting more just greeting each other.

"You guys aren't doing so good huh" said the angel looking over at Lust swinging Gluttony around in a circle.

"Eh, I'm sure we'll figure something out. So... You wanna fight or" Wrath asked?

The angel shrugged, "I mean not particularly. I'm just kinda here for the ride, and I feel kinda bad for you guys getting wrecked so hard". The two considered one another for a few moments before the angel stepped aside and gestured for Wrath to go forward.

"Valian, you wretch. Deal with the damn sin" called the tentacled snake. Charging at Wrath, Wrath gave a whoop and smacked the snake over the head with his bat knocking him the fuck out.

"Good smack" said Valian leaning against a wall and watching it all go down. A loud booming voice came from an alley.

"Are you pathetic worms prepared for the glory of Pride"!

Pride appeared from an alley and flexed his muscles. The gunslinger pulled out a pair of revolvers and fired a few shots at the muscular sin but most of the simply bounced off of his bulging muscles. Pride threw a punch at the nearest opponent, the wolf. The wolf took the punch and returned one.

Pride laughed heartily before delivering a right hook to the wolf. The dog spit out a broken tooth. "You piece of shit" the wolf growled.

"That wasn't a very nice thing to say" Pride said defensively.

"No, I guess it wasn't. How long did it take you to figure that out" The wolf growled? Pride shrunk a bit.

"How dare you insult me in such a way" Pride said throwing a punch at the wolf. The wolf didn't move back much this time. The canine gave a toothy grin as he realized how to defeat his opponent.

"Well a slack-jawed. Shit licking, ass kissing, ugly fuck like you shouldn't take very long to figure things out. Unless you're some kind of dumb fuck" the wolf taunted. That onslaught of insults sent Pride back into his tiny self.

"I believe that's quite enough" the calm voice of Envy sounded through the street. Bladed appendages were suddenly everywhere, one impaled the gunslinger, another took the piper's head off. About ten of them stabbed into the cloaked figure. The appendages all pushed in different directions sending the cloaked figures blood and guts flying everywhere.

Everyone was silent as the sound of shoes on stone filled the air. Envy calmly walked down the street and with one bulging blue eye open to survey his work. Lust stopped swinging Gluttony around once the flute music stopped. "If any of you don't want to follow those three examples you've the count of three to run. Given my mood, three is generous. 1... 2" Envy began to count.

The wolf immediately turned tail and ran. The angel didn't move and Greed appeared to be attempting to sneak away. "Wait... Envy. Holy shit man it's been ages" said the angel suddenly. Envy turned and he seemed surprised.

"Valian? What the hell are you doing with this lot? Greed, you're not going anywhere" Envy extended an arm and grabbed a wriggling Greed by the back of the neck.

Valian seemed embarrassed by that last question. He rubbed the back of his neck. "I... Thought it'd help me get back. Up there ya know" Valian pointed up.

"Following an Eldritch is folly the best of times. And it certainly wouldn't help you get back into heaven. Good effort anyone considering what you were fighting and how outnumbered you were. Eldritch are rare and powerful creatures. And I'll bet you that one picked its allies wisely seeing as it picked the flute demon, Greed, and Valian" Envy told the other three sins.

"I feel like a dumbass" Lust complained turning back into herself and rubbing the back of her head.

"I think you gave me whiplash" Gluttony complained.

"That was great. I didn't get much carnage done though" Wrath said looking around a little disappointed.

"Let's get inside. I'll deal with you while we're in there" Envy looked at Greed.

"I was tricked I swear. That damn flute demon had control of me" Greed tried to explain but Envy was having none of his bullshit lies.

"Greed. I am not gullible nor am I a fool" said Envy, finally closing his eye which made the tiny demon breath easier. "But stop whining I've no plans to kill you. You'd just come back soon anyway".

The sins ignored the big hole in the wall and went inside. They'd probably just fix later. Envy turned to Valian before walking in. "Come in Valian. We could catch up a bit" Envy offered. Valian considered that for a few moment before nodding slowly and following.

**Wow. That was a long one. Well that's the end of the first major arc of the story, the sins and some others are all assembled. I'll start working on that other story involving actual characters from Hazbin now that all the characters have been somewhat introduced. If there are any character interactions you'd like to see between my characters and Vivziepop's let me know. I'm open to ideas although I already have a few in mind. To any readers in the US happy Thanksgiving.**


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